Cocaine Bear

“Gee Yogi…Ranger Rick isn’t going to like this one…” Do you remember when the most chaos a bear caused on TV was stealing a picnic basket? I mean, sure there was Winnie-the-Pooh with his honey addiction. At least he never ate a man’s organs just to get another lick of that liquid pollen. No, he just got his head stuck in a honey pot from time to time and we laughed it off. Flash forward to 2023 and we’ve got a bear high off its tits wrecking shop.

Look, I don’t need to deep dive on this one and tell you what worked and what didn’t. The title says it all. If you want a movie about a bear high on cocaine going on a carnivorous killing spree, this is 100% the movie for you. If you want a movie about literally anything else, this is not the film you want. And for the optimists out there, this film doesn’t end with the bear getting the help it needs in rehab (spoiler alert).

In conclusion, we’re giving this our “wait for streaming” rating, as I rented this one and felt like I got the full experience from my living room. This movie is simply mindless fun involving a bloodthirsty predator like you might remember from the days of Lake Placid, The Meg, or my first marriage. Additionally, hats off to Elizabeth Banks, as this film shows her directorial range. This is definitely a far cry from the Pitch Perfect movies and shows she can do it all from Tier 1 collegiate acapella to drug induced bears. I can’t wait to see what she brings us next, as long as it doesn’t involve an Octopus on meth. The world’s just not ready to see something with that many arms shoot up on injectable drugs. It’ll just be too dark.

🛶= wait for streaming